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A new era of 'feministic patriarchy'!

Published : Saturday, 14 October, 2017 at 12:00 AM  Count : 1571
Ahmed Tahsin Shams
Domination based on gender is known as 'patriarchy', whether the action is done by a male or female. Nowadays, urbanization, satellite, and the notion of 'global village' pave 'progressiveness' in gender based thinking and gender roles in developing countries being inspired by economically progressed nations.

Unfortunately, in Bangladeshi urban areas, to be specific in the capital, mostly such 'liberal' or 'progressive' attitude is somehow limited to education, attires, and free-thinking: free will to roam around, and missed part is -- active economic contribution of educated women.  By 'active economic contribution', I only meant, to be connected with the process of producing  'money' through understanding the role of 'money' and value of 'money' in life and society under peer pressure.  
Labelling these as limitations might arouse query: What is left then? It is a matter of regret that the above mentioned free-will activities, to many urban students, only mean: "free-will to choose what I will wear, free-will to have drink or party, free-will to go wherever I want and whenever".
As such activities are known as entertainment, the youth cherish these. But, after the academic life, when they have to choose a career to contribute actively in the economy, many such urban elite women prefer a life of less hassle, and depend on the in-laws' economy which is also entertaining! Now, is that gender equity?

Many urban elite women prefer doing job where 'job', to them, has no economic value, rather a 'status quo'. Father-in-law might take pride in: "My daughter-in-law is an engineer", whether she does job or not doesn't matter, or she might do for maintaining 'class', rather than pursuing career. Ironically, many such urban elites are leading feminist movements, activities, organizations talking of gender equity in society, where the burden of 'economic-stress' is left upon the shoulders of their male counterparts.
Now let's peep inside the walls of the people termed as the middle-income citizens. There is no pride in our advancement of women in education sector, according to me, because this 'advancement' is also dominated by the patriarchal notion: to get a 'good husband'!

Elite grooms demand 'educated' wives. Isn't that the prime reason of middle-income parents to wish their daughters to be highly educated for such a 'better future'? Well, let's not generalize, but its true in most cases in Bangladesh where 'better future' for female is still considered to have a well-to-do marital life.      

Majority GPA 5 achievers in SSC or HSC are women since last few years, and even at graduation level, majority toppers in government or private universities are women. Yet, the scenario turns upside down in job field. These toppers contribute, in most cases, the least actively in the economy. Most women leave jobs, even if not after graduation then after having kids. Thus, the patriarchal system turns their 'good result' certificates as an effective tool to nurture kids and maintain family!

The same 'highly educated' women are seen to be active participants in the capitalistic marital system of Islam. According to Muslim marriage law, groom provides 'den mohor' (dowry) to the bride -- which is an amount of cash the groom is bound to provide that the bride/her family demands.  If a women is equally or more educated than men, then the question is why men have to provide 'den mohor' to such women, usually after their divorce in our society. Now, is that we call gender equity?

Let's have a look at a few paradoxical cases. For instance, a wife talking to her husband, where the husband belongs to the urban 'middle-income' group, and the wife is also a private job holder and certainly 'progressive'. "Why do you work so much? It will hamper your health. Such stress might soon give you a brain-stroke!" says the wife being concerned of her husband. And the husband, expecting a paradox, remains silent, and waits. After dropping her wife to her parents' home, while leaving, the wife says, "I am out of cash at the moment. Do you have?" Certainly, the husband, who is the victim of the urban capitalistic system, is expected to be a portable ATM machine'. Are mothers and wives unknown to the fact that work produces money? There is no alternative to it!

To be specific, Dhaka is such a city now where one middle-income man can hardly be well-to-do if he has a family. So, husband and wife both works to be well-off. The question is -- why the economic stress is mostly taken by the male counterparts?
The problem is not in gender, I believe. Rather, it is in the education system which is solely capitalistic but never introduces the subject 'money'. Therefore, students, whether male or female, only focus on result, and forget that the main struggle begins afterwards when suddenly the responsibility is thrust upon a male, in patriarchal society, and everyone expects a male to 'EARN'. For most women, those who earn quite well, it becomes a matter of fashion or luxury, rather than survival need because the society doesn't pressurize her to 'pay the last three months' electricity bill', in elite or middle-income urban families.

It is time to question -- do female university students talk high of 'feminism' just because it opens their roads to enjoy and have fun in university life? When their turns come to participate in the main struggle of life -- living life where success is only measured through money in urban capitalistic society, why the sole stress is thrust upon males?

I would urge to such females of the society to come forward to cooperating in liberating the males from the on-going 'feministic patriarchal' system and share the pressure equally -- whether household chores or economic roles. I believe, a man will cook, and then just don't tell him to buy the groceries, the micro-oven and the fridge too. It won't be justice, will it?

Ahmed Tahsin Shams is Lecturer, Department of English Language and Literature, Notre Dame University Bangladesh (NDUB), and Editorial Assistant in
The Daily Observer






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