Friday | 10 January 2025 | Reg No- 06
বাংলা
   
Friday | 10 January 2025 | Epaper

Parenting: Are we on the right track?

Published : Friday, 26 April, 2024 at 12:00 AM  Count : 382
Moinul Abedin
“My child doesn want to eat", "My kid doesn want to study", "My son is a real mischief, he misbehaves with us", "My daughter always wants to buy exorbitant and fancy stuff"- these are some frequent examples of grumbles from distraught parents along with the most recurrent one "I can keep my ward away from device". They are at the end of their tether to resolve the crises and finally being helpless they regret, "It is very difficult for me to control my child."

Is it really the matter of controlling the child? Award winning author and child development researcher L.R.Knost opines, "Many believe parenting is about controlling childrens behaviour and training them to act like adults. I believe that parenting is about controlling my own behaviour and acting like an adult myself. Children learn what they live and live what they learn."

In fact there are multiple instances when adults behave like children in the so-called name of controlling them. For example, screaming at a child at the top of their lungs, abusing them verbally and even physically. It has been proved disastrous and often shatters the peace of a family. It seriously hampers the relationship between the children and the parents. Therefore it is imperative that  parents should be trained and up skilled first in order to initiate functional parenting.

I would like to mention four types of parenting as experts suggest and our parents must be fully aware of it. The four main parenting styles are: permissive, authoritative, neglectful and authoritarian - used in child psychology today. As parents, are we impetuously permissive, giving in legions of their reasonable and  unreasonable demands? Are we fanatically authoritarian, without having an ounce of respect for their autonomy? Are we pathetically neglectful, being busy round the clock with our very own mundane business or profession, with no time to exhibit due regard for their emotional well-being? Or are we really authoritative, setting any limit, rules, regulations and meaningful negotiations to accomplish healthy authority upon our children that generates mutual respect, understanding contributing to a lasting bond and connection? Psychologists through their research discovered that authoritative parents are more likely to raise independent, self-reliant and socially competent kids. Failing to do so we are killing them both mentally and physically.

Dysfunctional and poor parenting results in abject upbringing and eventually it begets a sick generation. The inevitable and overwhelming advancement of technology is both a boon and bane for us now and parenting has become more and more excruciatingly challenging. Nevertheless we do not afford to give up. But what is the solution? This is the burning question.

Before pointing the finger at the child a mother ought to ask herself, "Am I always on facebook, chatting or scrolling the device in front of my highly impressionable kid?" A father is to ask himself, "Am I yelling at others in the presence of my child?" "What was my temperament when I was my kids age?"-a mother should reflect. "Have I ever read a book for one hour when my child is around?"- a father must contemplate.

So in order to train their children, parents must train and control themselves first. Parenting is not any natural talent, rather fruitful and far sighted parenting should be acquired through conscious and patient effort and profound reflection. They should develop empathy and put them into their childrens shoes. Only then  our parents can assist to raise a generation which is  morally, socially and intellectually competent.

The writer is a English Teacher, DPS STS School, Dhaka



LATEST NEWS
MOST READ
Also read
This is right time to dismantle RAB
Beware of fireworks on the eve of new year 
Peace in Myanmar, region depends on lasting solution to Rohingya issue
What to do for physical and mental health 
Goodbye 2024: A year marked by new escalated conflicts
Accountability is a must-but how?
Comrade Moni Singh: A legend of sacrifice in politics
A better tomorrow with the awakening of 2024
Editor : Iqbal Sobhan Chowdhury
Published by the Editor on behalf of the Observer Ltd. from Globe Printers, 24/A, New Eskaton Road, Ramna, Dhaka.
Editorial, News and Commercial Offices : Aziz Bhaban (2nd floor), 93, Motijheel C/A, Dhaka-1000.
Phone: PABX- 41053001-06; Online: 41053014; Advertisement: 41053012.
E-mail: district@dailyobserverbd.com, news©dailyobserverbd.com, advertisement©dailyobserverbd.com, For Online Edition: mailobserverbd©gmail.com
🔝
close