In Bangladesh, where conservative values dominate, divorce has long been stigmatized. However, in urban areas, reflect a societal shift driven by education, urbanization, and evolving gender roles. While Bangladesh lags behind India in liberalization, divorce rates are rising.
A global trend now emerging in Bangladesh is "Grey Divorce" - the breakup of marriages after 25 years or more. This demographic is experiencing separations due to longer life expectancies, empty nests, and the search for fulfillment. While not as widespread as in the West, cities like Dhaka is beginning to witness this shift.
The evolving role of women in divorce: Over the past decade, women have gained autonomy through social change and economic independence In Bangladesh. More women are leaving marriages that no longer serve them emotionally, or financially, as seen in their prominent roles in recent youth-led protests, rejecting oppressive norms.
The influence of Islamic fundamentalism : However, this empowerment may face challenges with the rise of Islamic fundamentalism. A shift towards more conservative governance could curtail women's rights, especially through Sharia-based divorce laws, limiting their ability to leave unfulfilling marriages and reinforcing traditional roles. Similar to Afghanistan under Taliban rule, women's freedom to leave abusive marriages could be restricted, and social judgment would increase.
Communication and Counseling: Keys to preventing divorce : A major factor in rising divorce is the lack of open communication between spouses. In traditional households, emotions and frustrations are often ignored. Counseling and introspection are critical to preventing divorce. In the U.S., therapy has helped couples reconnect and address underlying issues before they escalate. However, Bangladesh's mental health sector remains underdeveloped but fostering dialogue and focusing on emotional well-being could help curb the increasing divorce rates.
Anatomy of my interaction with divorcee: As the founder of HerNet Foundation platforms dedicated to the well-being of women & SDGs, I've encountered countless women seeking counsel, connections, resources or simply a place where their voices can be heard. Among the many stories I've witnessed, there are a few Divorces that stand out. These narratives illustrate not only the personal toll of failed marriages but also the societal factors that contribute to this rising phenomenon.
Case 1: The rich man's lesson This case was introduced by a lawyer & TV host of HerNet. The Divorcee lady had a five-year-old son, and her husband, despite his immense wealth, refused to support the child financially. This man belonged to one of the richest families and was someone I knew socially, so I delved deeper into the situation. Turned out he had a controlling personality and severe OCD, reacted explosively when his wife didn't submit to his will (Both whimsical & Physical). He divorced her and refused to pay child support as a way to punish her. Ironically, he had spent a staggering $5 million on his second marriage, while denying even the basics for his son. Eventually, after much advocacy from the lawyer & our end, he consented.
This case is a clear reminder that money and status don't necessarily equate to responsibility. It also highlights a disturbing trend among affluent men in Bangladesh who use their financial power to control and punish their wives or even children.
Case 2: The betrayed wife Another heart-wrenching case involved a Bangladeshi-American couple married for over 30 years. The wife, a devoted partner who supported both her husband and in-laws, decided to visit her husband as he lived in Dhaka half the time. What she discovered was devastating. Her husband was involved in multiple affairs with young girls , and when she confronted her in-laws, they not only dismissed her concerns but claimed that, as his wife, her only duty was to serve him unconditionally. The situation escalated, and she was physically assaulted by both her husband and mother-in-law.
The betrayal didn't end there. After recovering from weeks spent in the hospital, she discovered that her motherin-law had withdrawn all the money from her bank accounts, and her husband had taken over two of her apartments. Broken and alone in a country far from her family, she filed for divorce and domestic abuse charges. What followed was a grueling three-year legal battle, where she encountered the deep flaws in the Bangladeshi legal system. Corruption, bribed witnesses, and a lack of evidence made it nearly impossible for her to find justice. This wife remains trapped in this nightmare, a victim of both a corrupt legal system and a husband who exploited her trust.
She deeply regretted not managing her property & finances herself, and now believes that every wife should independently oversee her assets and finances.
Case 3: The socialite couple Among the many shades of Bangladesh's affluent society, I met a couple who were both on their second marriages. The man, though not particularly handsome, but wealth compensated for his appearance. His wife was a provocative woman, with a loud, boastful personality. At first glance, they seemed to have everything-a glamorous lifestyle & constant social gatherings. But beneath the surface, cracks were forming.
At one social event, the wife didn't hold back in publicly humilating her husband, ridiculing his past and boasting about her beauty & social life. She seemed more interested in the attention of others. It was a shocking display, but one that foreshadowed their eventual divorce. Despite their glamorous life, they had neglected the foundation of their marriage-communication, compromise, and mutual respect. Post-divorce, the wife found herself entangled in scandal of stealing luxury items from friends and pursuing relationships with other married men. The husband, now entangled in drugs and alcoholism, is constantly surrounded by models-an open secret in the elite circles, where beauty is exchanged for financial support in a world of quiet indulgence.
This story serves as a cautionary tale for the modern women of Bangladesh. No amount of wealth, beauty, or social clout can fill the void left by a lack of genuine care and effort in a marriage.
Case 4: The woman who survived
One of the most chilling case, a woman who had survived a brutal attack by her own husband. Her head, nose and cheek were fractured, The cause? Minor infractions like arriving home ten minutes late or under-seasoning the curry. This was a routine, yet society normalise such violence.
Another alarming aspect was the societal reaction. Many on social media justified her abuse because she had dared to speak to her former husband with who she shares a son. Some even claimed that because her current husband was a pious man, he couldn't possibly be in the wrong. It's a terrifying reflection of the dangerous mindsets that still exist in our society, where a man's religious appearance can shield him from accountability, and a woman's past can be used as a weapon against her.
This woman's story is a stark reminder that no one should ever tolerate abuse in the name of marriage, and no family should ever pressure their daughters to stay in harmful relationships for the sake of society. Every woman deserves to feel safe, respected, and loved, and those who suffer should immediately seek help from law enforcement or organizations like ours. Case 5: When the wife becomes the "Step-Mother"
A Businessman, recently remarried and appeared on our show *Man of the Match*. Curious about his previous divorce, when asked he said, "After we got married, my wife became like my stepmother." He explained that she shifted from being a romantic partner to constantly nagging him, focusing on household chores, children, and family duties. She neglected herself, rarely pampered herself, over time, he lost attraction. "Men don't need a maid for a wife," he said. "A wife should maintain her own well-being, sometimes romantic and sensual for her husband & know to communicate well about her own needs as well."
Eventually, other women caught his attention, and he remarried a younger model, hoping for the romantic connection he'd lost. His story highlights a common issue-many women after marriage stop nurturing the emotional and physical intimacy in their relationships. As renowned therapists like Dr. John Gottman and Esther emphasize, intimacy and romance are key to keeping a marriage alive.
The path forward : The future of divorce in Bangladesh depends on balancing progressive reforms with traditional values. As more women gain economic independence, divorce rates will likely rise, especially in urban centers. However, the journey to freedom is fraught with societal judgment, legal hurdles, and emotional scars.
If men take on more supportive roles and if both partners commit to open communication, the institution of marriage in Bangladesh can evolve without losing its integrity.
