Believe it or not the rate of sexual abuse on children has been increasing in Bangladesh. Sadly there isn't much awareness about it.
Awareness starts from the family. It's important to understand what child sexual abuse is. The act of touching a child inappropriately or touching his/her private parts is sexual harassment. Other than this the following things also come under the realm of sexual abuse:
l showing pornography to a child
l deliberately exposing an adult's genitals to a child
l photographing a child in sexual poses
l encouraging a child to watch or hear sexual acts
l inappropriately watching a child undressing or using the bathroom.
Now, who are the people that do these heinous acts? He can be a close family member, even the father sometimes or in some cases a close relative or a family friend. It's not necessary that the criminal has be to an outsider.
In Shutopa's (pseudo) words, "I was raped by my uncle when I was a child. I didn't understand what was happening but all I remember is that it hurt, really badly. At that time I couldn't tell my parents out of embarrassment and my uncle said something worse will happen if I tell anyone. I still can't believe that my own uncle could do such a thing. I never told my parents about it but I wish I did."
This isn't an isolated case only. You will be able to find instances like this from at least one of your friends. So what can be done to avoid this? Sometimes it is thought that understanding the mindset of the wrongdoer might help avoid such incidents.
It is seen that some adults who sexually abuse children were victims of sexual, physical, mental abuse in their own childhood. As a reaction to those experiences of abuse, betrayal, negligence and powerlessness, they may attempt to find power and control over others which includes sexual power over children.
Research shows that many sexual abusers have high social status --- a star athlete, a boss or a manager, a prominent member of a community, even an especially popular person. They become so confused by constant praise that they think that the rules don't apply to them.
In most cases, it is found that one of the celebrated persons in the family is the culprit. Sometimes it's not intended for the children but a sexually frustrated person might take the advantage of a child if the opportunity arrives.
There are few warning signs to understand if a child is being
sexually abused.
If a child ---
l Acts out in an inappropriate sexual way with toys or objects
l Has nightmares, sleeping problems
l Becomes very clingy
l Becomes unusually secretive
l Experiences sudden unexplained personality changes, mood swings
l Regresses to younger behaviours, such as bedwetting
l Outbursts out of anger
l Has changes in eating habits
l Does self-harm (cutting, burning or other harmful activities)
l Has physical signs, such as, unexplained soreness or bruises around genitals or mouth, sexually transmitted diseases or pregnancy etc.
l Does not want to be alone with a particular child or young person
Any one of these signs might not indicate sexual abuse but if the child starts showing multiple signs then you might need to start questioning her. In this case, the child has to be comfortable to tell you anything without the fear of being judged.
For avoiding coming to this stage, you have to educate your child so that if anyone tries to molest her she knows what to do.
Firstly, it's important to teach children about their body. They should be taught that no one should be allowed to touch her private body parts or see her naked.
Secondly, if anyone does something inappropriate the child should tell her parents immediately.
Sharmin Haque, psychiatrist at Square hospital says, "It's often seen that children don't share with their parents until it's too late. Moreover, parents also cannot fathom that something like sexual harassment can be going on with their children. That is why we advise parents not to neglect the possibility of their children being victims of sexual abuse and to stay alert at all times."
As preventive measures, parents should keep a close eye as to who their children are mixing with and that they should not spend too much time alone with anyone that might harm her, even if it is a family member. It is not normal for a child to become too inclined toward someone or become afraid of someone.
However, if something bad happens by chance, be sure to take care of her properly. Instead of suppressing her feelings, try to take her to a psychiatrist. Interventions should be promoted more so that people can know about the facilities and helping associations like "One Stop Crisis Centres", "National Trauma Counselling Centre", "Government helpline" which provide its services with medical facilities, police assistance and legal support.
Moreover, it's important for all to be aware of this issue and make sure that children are safe.
