Career first, marriage later: The fertility challenge

Something is shifting quietly across South Asia. For generations, a Bangladeshi woman’s life followed a familiar script: education, perhaps a career, marriage in the mid-twenties, and then a life divided between husband, children, family and work. Today, particularly among educated urban women, that chronology is changing. Marriage is increasingly being delayed not necessarily rejected as women pursue education, careers, financial independence and personal growth.

Bangladesh remains a country of relatively early marriage, but the trend is changing. The 2022 Bangladesh Demographic and Health Survey shows that women with secondary education or higher married at a median age of 19.5, nearly four years later than women with no formal education. The proportion of early marriages has also declined from 73 per cent in 1993-94 to 51 per cent in 2022.

The transition, however, is uneven. In Dhaka and other metropolitan areas, more women are reaching their late twenties and thirties financially independent, professionally accomplished and unmarried. They are not necessarily “left behind”. For many, these years offer an opportunity to discover who they are before becoming wives or mothers.

A woman in her twenties or thirties may build a career, start a business, travel, study, develop friendships and gain financial independence. That is not selfishness; it is self-development. The important question is whether she has the freedom and information to make decisions about her own life.

Yet there is an important reality that cannot be ignored: biology does not change at the same pace as society.

According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, female fertility begins to decline gradually around age 30 and more rapidly in the mid-thirties. This does not mean that women cannot become mothers after 30 or 35. Rather, delaying motherhood can reduce the biological margin for conception, while some pregnancy-related risks also increase with age.

This creates a modern paradox. Society is giving women more time to establish themselves, while reproductive biology continues to operate on its own timetable.

Medical science, however, has expanded reproductive choices. Egg freezing, or oocyte cryopreservation, allows mature eggs to be retrieved, frozen and potentially used later through IVF. Outcomes depend on several factors, including the woman’s age when the eggs are frozen, the number of eggs preserved and individual medical circumstances. Sperm freezing also provides men with an option for preserving reproductive potential.

Lifestyle also matters. A healthy diet, regular physical activity, adequate sleep and appropriate health screening can support overall wellbeing and reproductive health, although they cannot stop age-related changes in fertility.

There is another dimension to delayed marriage: social expectations. In Bangladesh, men have traditionally been encouraged to establish themselves before marriage, while women are often expected to marry younger. As a result, women entering their thirties may encounter a different marriage landscape. Some potential partners are already married, divorced or have children; others may prefer younger partners, while women themselves may have reservations about remarriage or partners with children.

These attitudes deserve reconsideration. Divorce should not automatically define a person’s worth, just as marriage is not proof of character. Compatibility, values, emotional maturity, respect and shared expectations are more meaningful foundations for a lasting relationship. A divorced person or a single parent should not be treated as a “damaged” choice.

The real question, therefore, should not be, “Why is she still unmarried?” It should be, “What life has she built, and what life does she want?”

Women should not be pressured into marriage simply because of age. At the same time, they should have access to honest information about fertility and reproductive health rather than being told that biology is irrelevant.

Bangladesh’s fertility rate has also fallen considerably, reaching about 2.1 births per woman in 2024, according to World Bank data. This reflects a broader demographic transition in which families are becoming smaller and reproductive decisions are changing.

The answer is not to return to a system where women are expected to marry early. Nor is it to suggest that technology has eliminated biological realities. The goal should be informed choice.

Women should have the freedom to pursue education, careers and personal aspirations. Men and families should reconsider outdated expectations about age and marriage. Divorced people and single parents should be judged by character rather than marital history. And women should receive accurate information about fertility so they can make decisions with a clear understanding of both opportunities and limitations.

The future should not force women to choose between “becoming herself” and becoming a mother. With supportive workplaces, better reproductive healthcare, social acceptance and informed decision-making, women can have greater freedom to shape the lives they want.

Marriage is not a deadline. It is one part of a much larger equation called human life.

The author is Founder, HerNet Foundation and HerNet TV, Chief Curator of HerNet Fine Arts, and Global Advocate on Women Empowerment, Youth and SDGs.