A Mother’s Agony & Self Esteem

Monira. She is a caregiver aide or to be frank and leaving out the cosmetics of her designation, an “AYAH” at the Evercare Hospital in Dhaka. 

I came across Monira when my wife, a Lukemia patient, was hospitalised at the Evercare a couple of months back. Monira is around 25, pretty with a demeanour of ebullience and an omnipresent attitude of care, sympathy, love and a warm and disarming a smile enough to make even a patient on life support to be at ease and peace.

Monira and her fellow colleagues’ devotion, commitment and compassion for the patients more than often go overlooked and evade recognition. They are on constant call to help a patient’s basic need that include helping them to the bathroom, bathe and clean with care and for those who are bedridden, attend them with bed pans and cleaning the body. They also replace soiled sheets with fresh clean ones, all with a smile and without complaint. 

Monira’s normal “beat” is at the ICU. We were fortunate to have her services in the Hematalogy / Oncology ward for a couple days.  During these two days Monira stole our hearts, especially my ailing wife’s. When released, my wife wanted to “tip”  Monira with a small amount. Monira smiled, and politely declined. The quiet dignity in her body language called for respect and my wife did not insist. 

Monira calls my wife everyday to enquire of her welfare. Monira makes it point to come and see  my wife during her weekly visits to the hospital for lab tests and during chemotherapy and blood transfusions sessions to say words of comfort and support before going to her regular duty place. 

Monira is by nature chirpy and talkative. She told us that she was specifically assigned to attend the late Prime Minister Begum Khaleda Zia during the final days of her life at the Evercare ICU. Monira said that it was her Godsend fortune that she could put herself at the service of a great lady whom she knew and admired from afar in obfuscation. She said the late Prime Minister was a saintly person, full of affection and endearing to all around her. During the time, Monira was able to see from close PM Khaleda Zia’s dear and loved ones including her son the present Prime Minister, his wife Dr Zubaida and granddaughter Zaima. She told us that she will cherish this episode all her life. 

The other night I received a call from Monira. It was not the usual Monira at the other end but a frantic mother, sobbing and struggling with words that her infant daughter had suddenly taken ill and had to be admitted at the very place where she attended other patients: ICU. 

Monira said the hospital was kind to give her a discount, the doctors were generous not to charge her. The child was required to have an MRI which revealed some complications albeit at an early stage. The doctors suggested the child be kept in the hospital for observation. But for Monira this was financially overbearing. The total bill, substantially subsidised was Tk 60,000 which Monira did not have. The attending doctor advised that the child be taken home, kept under the best possible conditions and that the treatment will be a prolonged one over three years to cure. 

I told Monira to be calm and not to worry about the money and that I will gladly give her the amount and that she will not have to pay me back. Monira kept quiet for a moment, thanked me and ended the call. I did not hear from Monira for the next couple of days. She called me a couple of days ago to say that she managed to collect Tk 60,000, partly from her own savings and loans from family and friends. My wife and I again renewed our offer. We told her that she should not take our offer as a handout but a token of our love for the child. Monira once again went silent for a while, and then expressed her gratitude. Monira till date did not come to take up on our offer. Something tells me that she will not. She shared her child’s picture and a copy of MRI report. The diagnosis is beyond my comprehension.